


Looking Up

by emilyevanston



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Deaf Clint Barton, F/M, Fluff, Human Disaster Clint Barton, Humor, Mutant Reader, Super powered reader, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 09:43:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15749154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyevanston/pseuds/emilyevanston
Summary: Clint’s day was looking up.  His girlfriend slept over for the first time.  He’s pretty sure she’s a Jedi.  He was having a nice bath.  So how is it he’s now running down the street naked from gunmen?





	Looking Up

Clint wasn’t exactly sure how things had gone this wrong, but to be fair he was never particularly sure how things ended up the way they did.  It was like he was a magnet for the most embarrassing possible things to happen to people.  You never heard stories about Iron Man getting ambushed while he was in the tub and having to jump out of his window into the dumpster below.  No one ever told stories of Captain America running down the street naked pursued by goons with guns.

Yet here he was running down the street, stark naked covered in trash being pursued by a group of armed thugs.  What made matters worse was he kept passing people and not one of them ever did anything to help.  After all the shit Clint had done for this city he would have hoped that someone, anyone, would do something to help him.  Instead, people just pulled out their cameras and started to film.

“No, please.  Go ahead.”  He yelled as he passed a group of giggling girls standing on the street corner filming as he ran past.  “Make sure you get my good side.  I’m fine by the way.  This is totally normal.”

“Get back here, archer dude!”  One of the thugs tailing him yelled out.

God, not even the hit man sent to kill him knew his call sign.  What was the fucking point?

Today had started so great too.  He had a new girlfriend.  You’d slept over for the first time.  He was pretty sure you were some kind of Jedi even though you kept saying you weren’t, and quite frankly even if that’s not what you were, the powers were the same and that was pretty awesome in his book.  You’d made him coffee and pancakes and bought them to him in bed before you’d headed home.  It was pretty great.

Then when he’d finally gotten up to take a bath, eight dudes had busted in his front door and started to shoot up the place.  He didn’t even have time to grab his bow.  Just his hearing aids off the sink and Lucky, who had landed on top of him when he’d landed in the dumpster, and was now on his heels barking at everyone, completely clean.  Meanwhile, Clint was streaking down Van Buren covered in trash and hoping he’d manage to get to your place without getting shot or stepping in something.

Well, there went that second one.  “What even was that?”  He said looking back over his shoulder to try and glimpse what he had stepped in while he did an awkward hop, run stagger move.  He was pretty sure he’d stepped in dog shit, but the loud bang and subsequent bullet whizzing past his head made him remember there were slightly more pressing matters.

“Shit.  Fuck.  People trying to kill me.  Forgot.”  He cursed as he started running flat out again.

He could see your building up ahead and he doubled down, sprinting as fast as his legs could carrying him, weaving in and out of the onlookers who were all still filming.  “Get inside you idiots, they’re shooting!”  He yelled.  Not that he was exactly sure why he’d warn them.  They weren’t exactly doing him any favors.  He was pretty sure his junk was already on Perez Hilton’s site with some dumbass speech bubble caption with a pun involving birds and peckers.  Probably they’d have his name listed as Hawkguy or something.

He made it to your door and pressed your buzzer.  “Come on, come on, come on.”  He muttered as he scraped his foot on the doormat.  It was dog shit.

In the only god damned stroke of luck, he’d had so far you picked up quickly.  “Hello?”  You said, your voice coming through the intercom crackly and far off.

“Hey, babe.  Could you maybe, let me up?”  There was another bang and a piece of brick exploded on the corner of the entryway.  “Now?”

He thanked the god of awesome girlfriends that instead of questioning him, you just hit the buzzer to let him inside.  He rushed through the security door and shoved it closed as the guys ran around the corner, giving them the finger through the thick security door as they fired at the door handle.

You were on the fourth floor and rather than waste time in the elevator he took the stairs, dashing up three at a time and bursting into the hallway.  You had already come to your door and were standing there waiting for him looking bewildered.  Lucky ran to you, jumping up, his tongue lolling out of his mouth and his tail wagging so fast it was just a blur.  “Hey, buddy.”  You said ruffling his fur before looking up at Clint.  “What’s going on?   **Where are your clothes?** ”

“At home.  I - there was - ah futz.”  He muttered.  “I need you to do your Jedi trick on the guys downstairs.  Kinda now.  They’re trying to kill me.”

“I’m not a Jedi, Clint.  How many times?”  You said rolling your eyes.  “Turning themselves in?”

“Yes, please.”  He said coming over and kissing your cheek.

“Ugh, don’t kiss me.  You stink.”  You said, wrinkling your nose.  “Go inside.  I’ll take care of it.”

Clint went into your apartment and straight to your window, opening it and peering down onto the street below.  He could see the guys below gathered around the entry.  Only five of them were visible, so he assumed that the other three were either attempting to break in, or get someone to let them in.  Or both.  Probably both.

“God, they aren’t smart are they?”  He said to Lucky who had his paws up on the windowsill beside him.  The one-eyed dog wagged his tail and licked Clint’s face.

A moment later the group were all backing up into the street.  Clint turned his hearing aids up.  “Alright, see we’re back.  We just got some questions okay?”  One of the guys said.  You appeared in the street and glanced up.

“Aww, she’s putting on a show,”  Clint said, ruffling Lucky’s fur.  “Don’t tell her I said this but I think I’m falling in love with her you know?”

Lucky barked and wagged his tail faster.

“I think you should all put your guns down on the ground.”  You said waving your hand.  Your voice was raised a little, Clint assumed so he might have a better chance at hearing what was going on.

The eight men all started pulling guns out of pockets and holsters and the waistbands of their pants and putting them on the ground.  You made a gesture with your hands like you were lifting something and the guns all floated into the sky.  You then twisted your wrists and the guns fell apart and clattered to the ground.  The men backed up a little and you thrust your hand forward and made a fist.  “Uh-uh.  Not so fast.”  You shouted.  “You’re going to go to the police department and turn yourself in.  You’re going to confess to them everything you’ve ever done wrong in your lives, starting with the worst.  Then you’re going to snitch on every bad guy you know and not ask for any kind of deal.  Understood?”

The men all nodded their heads, though the fact you were holding them in place stopped them from acting on your instructions.  “Holy shit.”  Clint giggled.

“One last thing.  You’re going to take off all your clothes and walk to the station naked.”  You added releasing them from the force that had been holding them still.

They seemed frozen in place for a second and you waved your hand.  “Hurry up.”

The men all started to strip off as you stood in the street watching them.  Clint looked at Lucky, back down at you and at Lucky again.  “Yeah.  I’m done for.”  He said.

As the men started wandering down the street in the direction of the police station, cop cars began pulling up and surrounding them.  You had already disappeared inside and a few minutes later the front door opened.  Clint grinned at you and skipped over.  “Oh my god.  You are the best Jedi I have ever seen.”

“I’m not a Jedi.  Midichlorians would have been way less painful than what really caused these powers.”  You said.

“Don’t bring up midichlorians.”  He said and leaned in to kiss you.  He was stopped by an invisible barrier you put up.

“No kissing you stink.  And you’re still naked. Go get in the shower.”  You said.

“Fine,”  Clint said with a smirk.  “Maybe… shower with me?”

You turned him around and pushed him in the direction of your bathroom.  “Get the garbage smell off you first.  Then I’ll join you.”

“Deal.”  He said and started moving on his own.  He stopped and turned back.  “Oh um… you think I can stay with you for a little while?  They shot up my place.”

You shook your head.  “Only you, huh, Clint?”

“Yeah,”  He said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

“Alright.  But shower, now.”  You said.

Clint grinned and skipped off to the shower.  Maybe today was going to be alright after all.


End file.
